The subject of grief is something that is very near and dear to my heart! It is a subject that immediately gets my attention. I pay attention when people around me say that they lost a loved one. I have been there! I have lost people very close to me, more than once. But my first time losing a loved one was extremely hard and I would like to share with all of you the beautiful blessings that have come out of that experience! I would like to share with you ALL the beautiful things you have to live for despite your loss! It is my pleasure to share with you that God has a time, season and a purpose for your pain! Grief is not a place where we are to reside forever! It’s temporary! ‘Ecclesiastes 3:1-8’ If you would allow me, I would like to share a little about my journey to healing. Let’s Go🙏🏾
My first experience with death started at just 21 years old. I lost a dear friend to diabetes. He had been sick for so long but his death was a total shock to me. We were extremely close. After the initial news that he was in a better place, I became very angry. A few years of moving around and trying to rebuild my life, I started reaching out to get help with my grief. I found myself needing a lot of space because I was isolating myself on a regular basis. That was not working well for me. I noticed a big change in my life when I started going to church. I was so overwhelmed with so much anger and bitterness. I blamed myself for his death. I comforted myself with food. I was going on shopping sprees with money I didn’t have. I was just in a really bad space. I did not start going to therapy until around year 9 or 10 after Jason’s death. Therapy was like milk to a baby for me! I was able to open up to someone who could understand my struggles and not judge me! Although my family loved me and hated to see me in that state of mind, there was only so much they could do for my mental health! That was just something that I would have to take control of on my own.
The combination of church and therapy was JUST what I needed. I have been going to therapy for a total of 12 years now! My relationship with God is something I just cannot put into words. God is absolutely everything in my life! During my long days and nights battling grief, I discovered my love for writing. It’s something I do daily. Writing is WHO I am! I was born to do it. My writing journey began in college and has continued as a form of healing over the years. My memoir, ‘Love Me Back To Life,’ is on the way! This project has come strictly from my grief. I have all the compassion and patience in the world for people who are hurting. My family was very patient with me when I was struggling. My parents and sisters would often attend therapy sessions with me. I’m am SO blessed! I realized that my family and friends needed me and that grief couldn’t occupy anymore space in my life.
In hindsight, I believe that getting the strength and courage to say that grief had no more space in my life was the beginning of my healing. AND only God is responsible for making that kind of decision. Although death rocks our world, life has to and does exist outside of it. My mental health is so important to me. That comes first in my life. If you are struggling with grief, please understand that trouble don’t last always and there will come a time where the depression will lift! God has so much for you to do. WE need you! YOU are loved and one day you will be helping people overcome their grief just like I’m helping you with YOURS!
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