‘Honesty without Empathy is Brutality..’
Prominent TV Host and Radio VJ, Charlamagne Tha God, began his new show, ‘Tha God’s Honest Truth,’ with this old mantra! He has been pretty brutal with getting his guests to open up on his classic radio hit, ‘The Breakfast Club.’ But over the past 5-6 years, he has been going to therapy trying to heal some childhood issues. I watched a documentary on his life several years ago and he revealed that he had been sexually molested when he was a small child. I have supported him ever since. I have a tremendous amount of empathy for people in pain. I feel like this is one of my gifts. I have had to pray without ceasing to get to this point in my life. We often tend to think that feeling pain is a sign of weakness. But I beg to differ. Feeling pain leads to healing and healing leads to strength. Strength leads to the ability to share our journies with the world, which leads to CHANGE! Change is POWERFUL!
I moved to Mexico City, MX for a job opportunity after graduating from college. After my teaching stint ended, I moved to East Tennessee. When I arrived in Tennessee, I quickly landed a job doing what I had been trained to do, teach. I started getting word that my dear friend’s health was declining due to Diabetes. He had been battling this disease for years. He ended up passing on Memorial Day 2004. I was absolutely devastated. He and I were extremely close. This was my first experience dealing with death. I was only 22 years old. I had no idea what to do. I ended up moving to Miami, Florida, got an apartment and tried to begin a new life. This cycle began of moving around, staying for a year or so and trying to figure out why things weren’t working out. In hindsight, what I should have done was stayed in Tennessee and worked through my grief. My faith in God was there. It had never left! My mental health was really suffering and I needed to deal with it.
Fast forward about 6 years later, I was 32 and ready to deal with my health concerns. At the recommendation of my doctor, I started seeing a therapist. To be honest, therapy helps us to change the narrative we tell ourselves about our lives. Before I talk about my journey to healing, I just want to say loud and clear that there is absolutely NO shame in going to therapy. It’s actually quite the opposite. I will plug therapy for anyone who needs to heal from trauma. I believe in it. It takes a lot of bravery to confront yourself and your issues.
Key Takeaways From Therapy And Dealing With Grief:
1. Focus on your relationship with your loved one that passed and how you made their life better while they were here!
2. Focus on your relationship with God and the lessons he wants to teach you through grief!
3. Focus on what you are moving from instead of what you’re moving to!
4. Moving forward, focus on what you are good at and how you can change lives in those spaces!
5. Yes Knetris! YOU can do hard things and you are a straight up Overcomer!!!!!
My therapist and I worked feverishly at tackling each one of these key points. Yes, I would be in tears during most of my sessions but we had laughter too. Lots of breakthroughs in there. Tears led to laughter, laughter led to healing, healing led to strength. One day I just woke up in a different space. No grief anymore. I had worked through it all. It took about two years of therapy to fully heal. Instead of holding onto grief, I started leaning on God. I went after God so hard and still do. I pray without ceasing! I reach out to loved ones and friends who are hurting. Life is hard. No, my life isn’t perfect. BUT I’m tough as nails. I am RELENTLESS! I’ve decided to use my Journey as proof that therapy works if you work IT! That is why God put it here. Since I love writing, I’ve decided to write a memoir about my life in hopes to encourage others that grief is not the end all be all. Mental Health is super important. My memoir, ‘Love Me Back To Life,’ is a love letter to God saying thank you for loving me back to life because God is the ultimate healer! Head over heels in love with my Savior! FREEDOM is a good feeling❤️❤️❤️ Because who the son sets free is free indeed! ‘John 8:36’ It’s a testimony, a new perspective, a goodbye and a thank you post!
I LOVE this piece. Grief can be unbearable. Thank you for sharing your story and such a vulnerable part of yourself truth. I agree that therapy is an essential self-care tool. My faith in God is what afford me mental peace through tough situations. I’m glad to see I am not alone!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE this piece. Thank you for sharing such a vulnerable part of you. I agree that therapy is essential and right on my list of self-care. God and my faith in God is also essential to my peace. Glad to see I am not alone.
ReplyDeleteIf you don’t mind me asking, what is your first name? Thanks for your comments and supporting my blog! Your comments are always welcome!
ReplyDeleteI absolutely LOVE this!!! Truer words were never written!! Empathy is the key to change and strength!!
ReplyDelete❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ I’m sooo glad this helped Heather! I feel honored to be in a position to lift others up!!!
Delete❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ I’m sooo glad this helped Heather! I feel honored to be in a position to lift others up!!!
DeleteU have no idea how much I related to this blog post!! I too lost a best friend at age 20 and btwn the grief and blame that was being passed around and my own insecurities I didn’t know how to deal with it! I didn’t have self love and my complicated and dysfunctional relationship with my own mother certainly didn’t help. I used to spend so much time in depression dealing with all the opportunities I lost bc I wasn’t ready mentally for them. It took decades to forgive myself for that and to realize that I was perfect in God’s eyes and it was ok to love myself no matter what anyone else thought of me. This blog post truly hit home, it wasn’t until I was much older that I finally was happy with myself and loved myself, only then I feel like was I able to grow and be successful in future ventures!
ReplyDeleteYou are SO strong darling!!!!!! I’m so proud of you! It’s not easy being vulnerable but it is life changing when you get the courage to!!! You have to be brave to show empathy!!! I agree with you there!!! Thanks for your comments on my blog!! I’m honored that you care about my journey and what I have to say💕💕💕💕
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