Remember To Breathe!

How To Survive The Holidays During A Pandemic!

Grammy award winning singer, Lalah Hathaway’s song, ‘Breathe’ has become a beacon of light for me since I first heard it. In 2011, I was on a Christmas vacation in Kansas City, Missouri with my family. At that time, my brother, Thomas was playing his final season in the NFL with the Kansas City Chiefs. We were on our way to the mall to Christmas shop and I just wasn’t quite feeling like myself. He put that song on and it was an instant mood booster. At that time in my life, I was carrying some unresolved grief and may have been suffering with slight seasonal depression. Now, whether I’m not feeling quite as confident or if I’m on cloud 9, ‘Breathe’ is my anthem. We MUST remember to breathe.

I think at times it’s hard to truly understand the trauma we have all endured since Covid came to America. We have been so totally knocked out of our routine. It is important to stay on a routine during this holiday season. I exercise as soon as I wake up in the morning. I shower and then have a light breakfast. I do this everyday. This routine helps my mental and physical health because I know its going to give me long term benefits. I also have noticed an extreme difference in my confidence level. It’s through the roof. I have increased energy, which shows up at work all day. 

If you are struggling with mental health concerns, be sure to ask for help during this holiday season. The use of alcohol usually rises during the holidays. Reach out to a sponsor or family and friends if you find yourself struggling with alcohol and drugs. This time last year, 47 million people reported mental health issues due to the death of loved ones, financial strain, not being able to buy gifts for kids, as well as foreclosures and evictions! Organizations and non profits are available to help buy kids toys for Christmas this year. 

A tip that I’ve found to be so necessary is to avoid social isolation during the holiday season. I have a large family but we also have cell phones for a reason. I have a weekly virtual meeting with my sister and her two kids and husband every Sunday after church. Since I haven’t been able to visit them in Florida since they were born due to the pandemic, I look forward to seeing them and watching them grow. 

Keep your holiday small. Plan a small family gathering like brunch or dinner for the holidays for family that has been vaccinated. At the moment, it’s imperative for you to be COVID tested if you are going to be around individuals who have not had the vaccine. You can still get COVID if you have been vaccinated. I have been laying low during this holiday season because I tested positive for COVID in January of this year! I have not had any symptoms since then. When I visit with family and friends, my circle is always very small. That is intentional.

I hope and pray for you to have a Bountiful and Blessed holiday season! Remember to use your best judgement and a lot of common sense. Happy Holidays!

When God Says, ‘Wait!’

Have you ever thought about why you have to be put in a position to ‘wait’ for certain things in life? Actually, we are ALL waiting for something. When God says, ‘Wait’ it’s always for a good reason. It’s always for the greater good of our lives. I was gifted this book in 2016 called, ‘When God Says Wait,’ by Elizabeth Laing Thompson. In it, she laid out her waiting seasons in life, most extremely painful and connected them to waiting seasons by powerful women in the Bible. My objective with this post is to provide you with some reassurance that your waiting is not in vain. I would also like to give some tips on what to do to ease the waiting periods in life, no matter how painful!

Everyone of us is waiting for something. Whether big or small, we make our requests known to God and we wait. I know it’s hard when God says to wait. I am waiting for things right now also! Whether we know it or not, the waiting seasons transform us. Most of us are totally oblivious to what we need during waiting seasons. They are uncomfortable, lonely and down right awful if we let them. I like to use the analogy, God is taking us from ‘odd to awed,’ during seasons of waiting.We could be waiting for a job, a husband, a wife, a baby, physical healing in our bodies to a million other things. What God really wants us to do is to focus on him during these times in our lives. Those odd seasons of life can be used to get to know God on a deeper level. We can get to know ourselves better and can let these seasons polish and refine us in such a way to equip us with the answers that God will soon provide us with. Getting to know God on a deeper level is more important than the answer to what we are waiting for.

Here are 5 tips on what to do to be a good steward in a waiting season!

1. Reach out to family and friends who may be waiting on something too. It’s most often that loved ones around you could be strengthened by your story. Check on your strong friends.

2. Use social media less during waiting seasons. Comparison is the thief of joy. For some, social media is not the best place to be while we wait. Try to find other forms of entertainment like reading or music. My love for music stemmed from difficult seasons in my life!

3. Try to find strength by fellowshipping with your church family. As much as time will allow, go to church, Bible study and pray without ceasing. There could be someone who could be going through the exact same situation as you! 

4. Keep a gratitude journal. As humans, we should get into a habit of writing down our feelings. When tough times come, you’ll need to be reminded of what God told you!

5. Exercise and eat a healthy diet. It’s important to take care of your mental health during the waiting seasons that are harder than others.

How To Read More!

Reading feeds my creative well. I remember falling in love with reading and writing as a young girl. My brothers, sisters and I would play school when we were kids and I was always the teacher. As I got older, going to buy school supplies at the beginning of the school year was my FAVORITE time. I loved it. English ended up being my favorite subject in grade school. It came so natural to me. So much so that I went on to study it in college. It seems as if I have been destined to be a professional writer since childhood. It’s not a wonder that I ended up teaching English both abroad and in the states for a total of 10+ years. I was having a conversation with a dear friend recently and she said, ‘…with this new digital age of social media, people want to be entertained and not educated!’ She is absolutely correct. It seems as though people are just not interested in reading anymore. Unless it’s just something that is deeply imbedded in your spirit, it seems like reading and writing are so yesterday. With this post, I want to encourage those of us who still enjoy reading and motivate those of you who don’t find reading fun as well. Here are some tips on how to read more!

1. Get a library card.

2. Read in the morning.

3. Read at night.

4. Read electronically. Whether it’s on an iPhone, iPad, E-Reader or on a tablet.

5. Choose from and download an app specifically for reading. There are the Nook app, Kindle app, Goodreads app and Audible app. Goodreads has a book challenge every year. This pushes you to read and keeps you accountable with your promise to read a set number of books.

Audible is a good app to listen to audiobooks. I downloaded this app a few years ago when I lived in Charlottesville, VA. This app is strictly for audiobooks. I would listen to ‘The Four Agreements’ and ‘Rich Dad Poor Dad’ while running around Charlottesville. 

Since becoming a member of Goodreads, I have read close to 20 books. That is nowhere near my goal. Right before the pandemic began, I started a book blog on social media. Here is the list of books I featured and read! I hope going into 2022 you are able to create a good reading regimen. In my opinion, education is the key to success and reading is at the forefront on that journey!

1. The Purpose Driven Life.

2. Beat The Clock.

3. Blessings From The Dust.

4. Less.

5. The Bluest Eye.

6. Tipping Point. 

7. The Dorito Effect.

8. When God Says Wait.

9. Trick Mirror.

10. Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married.

Gateway To Greatness!

Since being invited to become a member of The National Society of Leadership and Success, I have access to so many resources and empowering people. This week’s ‘Motivational Monday’ blog captures those individuals who were a part of the Fall 2021 Speaker Broadcast Series with the NSLS. All of these very influential individuals have come from different walks of life but have found themselves in a very powerful position. It is not by chance. Despite the hardships they have faced throughout their lives, they have managed to persevere and I find them very inspirational.

Here are a bio and three Key Takeaways from each speaker that I wanted to share with you! These are the dates and lessons I took from each speaker to use as fuel to create my own success in life or whatever that looks like to you! In my opinion, these gems are needed to enter into the Gateway to Greatness.

Gabrielle Union-October 12, 2021:

Born in Nebraska in 1972, Gabrielle Union studied at UCLA after working as a model for different agencies in her teens. While watching Union speak during her speaker broadcast series, she talked a lot about lessons she learned as an actress before her fame hit full throttle.

1. I want to be known as a truth teller.

2. I want to be known as a freedom fighter.

3. I want to be part of the resistance.

Anita Hill-October 19, 2021:

Anita Faye Hill is an American lawyer, scholar, educator and author. She is a university professor of law, social policy and women’s studies at Brandeis University. She gained fame by accusing Clarence Thomas, her supervisor and US Supreme Court nominee of sexual harassment.

1. We need new thinking.

2. We need new thinking in gender equality.

3. The baton to social justice must be passed from generation to generation.

His Holiness The Dalai Lama-October 20, 2021: 

Born July 6, 1935, His Holiness The Dalai Lama is a member of Tibetan Buddhism. He is 86 years old. These are the three takeaways from His Holiness’ speaker broadcast session.

1. My religion is kindness.

2. Compassion is important.

3. If you want to change the world, change your heart.

Bill Clinton-November 3, 2021: 

Born in 1946, Bill Clinton is an American politician and attorney who served as the 42nd president of The United States of America from 1993 to 2001.

1. Be kind.

2. You have to trust people.

3. It’s not the outcome, it’s the journey.

Rachel Ray-November 9, 2021: 

Rachel Ray is an American celebrity cook, tv personality, businesswoman an author. Host of Rachel Ray and the Food Networks, 30 Minute Meals, Ray also has a line of dog food that is very successful.

1. Have gratitude.

2. Having gratitude gets her out of bed in the morning.

3. Find beauty and grace in the low points in life.

Jamie Foxx-November 10, 2021: 

Born in Terrell, TX, Jamie Foxx  began his career as a comedian on, ‘In Living Color!’ After breakout success, he starred in ‘The Jamie Foxx Show.’ His success in comedy led him to a career in acting where he is now an Academy Award winning actor.

1. Don’t limit yourself.

2. You can come back from anything.

3. Use all of your gifts.

Where Do I Get My Inspiration?

Lately, it seems like inspiration has been coming at me in every direction. The world has been in such a state of vulnerability since the COVID pandemic started in early 2020. Being a survivor of COVID I have been looking for inspiration ever since my positive diagnosis. Gratefully, God brought me through that very difficult time in my life better and stronger than ever. My relationship with God has gotten more dire since recovering from this illness. Through that experience, I learned what’s really important in life and what I need to be giving my time, love and attention to. So many people have passed away from this disease and the numbers of fatalities are still rising everyday. I take my ability to resurrect my writing ability as inspiration and an answer to many of the prayers I prayed while battling COVID. I get to inspire people by writing about issues concerning the world around us on a weekly basis. Since surviving this illness, I had the inspiration to make my blog public after 7 years of inactivity. I’ve opened it to the public and I’m getting a plethora of positive feedback. I get to polish my writing skills in hopes to one day make writing a professional career!

I come from a legacy of extremely hard workers. My mother was the first African American female coal miner in Southwest Virginia. It was an incredibly difficult and grueling job for a woman. She was so good at her job that she was able to do it for 20 years. Her and my father sacrificed so much for me to have the life I live. They both taught me to have self respect and to use my voice. Other lessons were to keep God first and that nothing comes easy in life. Although I had a very non conventional childhood, my parents made sure I had what I needed to thrive in life. My brothers and sisters were also a source of inspiration for me growing up. From a very young age my two brothers had a dream of playing in the National Football League (NFL.) They are three years apart and one of them happens to be my twin. With discipline, strong work ethic and perseverance, they both made their dreams a reality. Together, their football careers lasted for 19 years. 

So, what about you? How do you find inspiration to pursue your dreams in life? The thing about dreams is that no one is too big. God has placed at the center and core of all of our beings gifts and talents. Everyone has something they are really good at. It is our job to find out what they are. Here are 5 tips on how you can find the motivation to finding your talent and pursuing your dreams!

1. Reach out to a job coach.

2. Find a hobby that you enjoy.

3. Teach someone else how to do something. Tap into your role as a leader.

4. Find out what you enjoy doing that you would do for free everyday. That’s your passion.

5. Ask yourself and really spend some time thinking about what you have overcome in your life! Overcoming life’s obstacles is a big motivator and will inspire you to move forward.

Kobe Bryant And The Evolution Of The Girl Dad!

It’s been almost 2 years since the world was brought to its knees by the loss of NBA superstar Kobe Bryant and his daughter, Gianna ‘Gigi’ Bryant in a tragic helicopter crash near Southern California that killed 9 people in total. They were on their way to a basketball tournament for Gigi and her friends. NBA preseason basketball just so happened to begin today. Although Kobe Bryant retired from playing basketball in 2016, he left more than just a basketball legacy. In my opinion, his biggest accomplishment was being a girl dad. Kobe Bryant was a girl dad and I know because I was raised by one too.

At the time of his death, Kobe was raising four daughters. He was quoted as saying, ‘Girls are the best…I would have five more girls if I could.’ Like Bryant, my Daddy considered himself a girl dad because I’m one of five girls. Kobe was a professional basketball player which meant that several times a month, he would be traveling out of town for games. Like Kobe, my father worked out of state when I was a young girl. He worked at the University of Tennessee as an Admissions Counselor during the week and would come home on the weekends. My father was also daddy to two boys who were really gifted in all of the sports they participated in. One of the boys, Julius, just so happens to be my twin. Even though my mother worked the night shift for most of my childhood, I remember both my parents being very engaged and interested in what I was doing at school.

After Kobe retired in 2016, he spent a lot of time taking Gigi to Lakers games. Kobe was a naturally comforting father. It came easy to him. Like my father, Kobe knew that in order to be there for the joyous times, he’d have to be there for the challenging ones as well. So many similarities between Kobe and my father. I’m almost positive that they were put on earth to raise daughters. My daddy sacrificed so much so I could be me! We have pictures and videos of Kobe and Gigi playing basketball and although there are lots of smiles, Gigi had the same tenacity as her dad. They shared a love of basketball. She had dreams of playing at The University of Connecticut and going on to play in the WNBA and carrying on her father’s legacy.

It’s safe to assume that Kobe envisioned watching Gigi go on to do just that, as well as support his other three daughters pursue their passions too. He and Gigi died together doing something that they loved; playing basketball. Kobe leaves a lasting legacy for girl dad’s and I cannot help but to reflect on my own father who will also. Just like Kobe is a legend and hero, my own father will always be that for me. The love I have for my own father mirrors that of Kobe and Gigi! May they both rest in eternal peace.

Brick by Brick! How I Find Balance In My Busy Life.

In 2009, Katy Perry recorded an acoustic album with a song titled, ‘Brick by Brick!’ I fell in love with it the first time I heard it. Here are a few of the lyrics!

‘..And I sure confess, I’m a mess, I’m a mess of mistakes, but please count to ten, before you throw it all away…’

‘…So brick by brick, I’m breaking through these walls, Oh, between you and me, I’m not giving up, I’m not giving up on us…’

These lyrics seem to be hinting to a relationship gone bad but I like to flip it and for me, it’s a testimony that I was once lost and need God as my GPS. This week I want to discuss how I transitioned from broken to whole with a balanced lifestyle. This post, I reveal some tips on how I have found balance in my busy life. 

In September 2007, I made a move to Charlottesville, VA. After attending college there for 4 years, I felt it necessary to move back there after a tumultuous year of living in Chicago. I met with a pastoral counselor a few days after my move. My counselor’s exact words were, you’ve built this wall around yourself and God wants to help you take it down brick by brick. From that point on, I worked feverishly at getting rid of the wall.

I landed a great job at UVA and made a handful of friends I could go out with. Unlike in Chicago, I had a support system at my new home. I started going to church. I volunteered at the Virginia Discovery Museum and at UVA. I worked with the international population to help them speak better English. I built a resume filled with lots of public service. My schedule was packed with things I loved to do. I exercised everyday and stayed in shape by running. I was in a good space. That wall I had built was starting to come down brick by brick. 

10 Key Takeaways for finding balance in life!

1. Exercise AND Recover/Rest.

2. Learn something new everyday.

3. Read and Write.

4. Get a balanced diet.

5. Reach out to your ‘Strong’ friends and family.

6. Volunteer.

7. Meditate.

8. My mother says, ‘give God some of your time!’ Try to find a bible based church to attend.

9. Step out of your comfort zone daily.

10. DE-clutter all of your spaces.

Little by little, Brick by Brick..you will be practicing gratitude while living your best life. Balance is possible, you just have to be intentional about creating it!