Mourning Sickness! Shedding The Old Version of Yourself For The New!

Personal growth means leaving your old self behind. In 2022, we refer to personal growth as 'leveling up!' In biblical terms, the new self is what God so desperately wants us to transform into. My own journey to my new self has been in the works for years. My parents have always encouraged my brothers, sisters and I to make mistakes, heal and grow in the areas that needed extra attention. It was not until I became an adult and started living on my own that I gained a sense of independence that would come with hardships and pain. In order to heal from the trauma that we all experience throughout life, we must find a way to acknowledge that it happened. We then have to take the necessary steps to work through, heal and be a light for the next person in pain. That is exactly what I want to do with my story and testimony. So many people are still hurting from things that happened to them years ago. Some people just cannot move past the pain. 

So, I would like to give you guys some tips on what I did to overcome the painful things I have been through in order to get to the new 'healed' version of myself! 

1. I pray without ceasing.

2. I seek out therapy.

3. I have had a consistent church home for about 6 years now.

4. I have walked into my calling.

5. I remain positive.

6. I speak life.

7. I take care of myself.

8. I eat a balanced diet.

9. I keep my mind fresh by reading and writing every single day.

10. I surround myself with people who love, cherish and want the absolute best for me.

11. I challenge myself.

12. I have as much FUN and LAUGH as much as I possibly can!

Is Decluttering Self Care?

Spring cleaning is a time where we go through our homes and clean from top to bottom. We get rid of the old and bring in the new new! But as I grow older, I find cleaning to be so therapeutic. Throughout my life, I have invested in many different forms of self care. I find that decluttering my spaces helps me to de-stress and improve my state of mind. I clean my surroundings every day. We live in an environment where just about everyone is stressed out about something. Life moves so much faster for all of us. At one point in time, not too long ago, I was SUPER messy. I did not take pride in the things that God gave me to take care of. At one of my old apartments in Virginia, I lived alone. I had so many bad habits! I would cook a meal for myself and not wash the dishes until the next day! Also, I would wash clothes, put them in the dryer and carry them from the dryer and plop them down on the floor. They would sit there for days. Such incredibly bad habits. Important pieces of mail and other significant documents were always lost and buried up under a pile of mess. There was some depression going on in my life during those times of neglect and poor self care. My self care habits have improved tremendously. I take excellent care of myself and my mental health now! My mental health is a priority now!

The Marie Kondo tidying method has become the blueprint for cleaning in today's society. Her minimalist style of getting rid of the clutter has taken a national platform. She has created a brand that everyone can relate to. Everyone knows what it is like to have too many of something. Although I have not really followed Marie Kondo until now, she inspires me to understand the correlation between my level of cleanliness and my mental health! They really go hand in hand. You cannot have one without the other. I remember watching a sermon from one of my favorite pastor's a few years ago when I was in the market for a new car. He said, '...why are you looking for a new car when you don't even take care of the one you have now!' That stuck with me! From then on, I began my cleanliness self care regimen. Cleaning your space can improve your concentration, attention, focus, happiness, lowers anxiety, and improves productivity!

How To 'Fall' In Love With Your Fall Wardrobe!

We gave the Summer some love and now it's Fall's turn!

Cool crisp air, pumpkin spice, apple cinnamon candles, Fall time changes, FOOTBALL AND soo much more to look forward to during this time of the year! We have endured the heat, summer vacation, back to school, AND numerous summer birthdays in my family. Fall arrives like the soft breeze that we never knew we needed. Fall also gives us all something very exciting to look forward to and that is Fall Fashion! Every year for fashion week, I follow Brooklyn based style icon and fashion influencer, Sai de Silva, watching her recount her experiences going to each show. She captures NYFW, Milan and Paris! Looking back at 2023 New York Fashion Week, I had my eye on things that would work as staple pieces in my closet. Here are 10 key pieces that every working woman should have in her wardrobe! They are all meant to be worn interchangeably and can all be dressed up or down. Since I moved to Nashville 2 years ago, some of these pieces were left in storage or got lost in translation and recently had to be replaced. So, without further ado, let's get into it!

1. A Blazer

A blazer can literally be worn with anything. I pair mine with jeans, slacks, joggers, shorts, skirts or a longer top with no bottoms at all. I have a black blazer and a deep pumpkin orange one that I wear in the Fall. I love a good blazer because it does a lot to complete a look! Their are oversized ones and ones that hug the shoulders just right. Blazers also transition well between seasons. They go from Fall to Winter with ease!

2. White Button Down Shirt

Again, a white button down shirt can complete any look. I like wearing mine with a pair of jeans or with a big oversized belt. A classic white button down works well with any color blazer too! I have a white, A-line button down that comes with an oversized red and white belt. I have only worn it once and that was to my parents' 50th wedding anniversary party. It was a hit for sure! Sexy and classy at the same time.

3. A Pair of Button-fly Boyfriend Jeans

Tis' the season for boyfriend jeans! They made their entrance several years ago and have been dressing women's curves ever since. I love a good pair of jeans. Boyfriend jeans are roomy, breathable and look good on every woman. I have hips and thighs and I was able to find a good pair at clothing store Maurice's last summer. They fit well but I have not worn them out yet. I guess I was waiting for a good dinner date to pull them out. They are also my first pair of button-fly jeans. They have the perfect amount of distressing and stretch. I like to wear mine with a good blazer, oversized white button up or hoodie, which is what I will be highlighting next!

4. Oversized Hoodie

I feel like it's so hard to find a really good oversized hoodie. I am a Brand Ambassador for a company called, Seek Jesus Co. Thank God for my discount because their hoodies can get pricey. They have a really good message and cause though! I have found that stores like Old Navy and The Gap have hoodies that are just as comfortable. A pair of boyfriend jeans and an oversized hoodie with some sneakers would make the perfect Fall outfit for a lunch date!

5. A Classic Jean Jacket

I found a good oversized jean jacket from Levis a few years ago. It is so cute. The BEST quality! I took it to my seamstress back in Virginia and she added studs to the pockets, along with letters on the back that spelled out P-E-A-C-E-M-A-K-E-R! It is currently in storage but it is practically vintage by now. A classic oversized jean jacket goes well with Everything in this post.

6. Vintage Leather Jacket

I have always been able to find dope leather jackets at thrift stores! The Goodwill specializes in old vintage leather. I bought a long, tan leather jacket there. I also have a rust colored one, as well as a black one that was also thrifted. Leather jackets have a way of  pulling a look together. 

7. Breathable Good Quality Flannel Shirt 

Again, I go to Old Navy or The Gap for my flannel shirts. Most recently, I found like 3 in one day at TJ Maxx. Really cute looks. A flannel shirt can be worn interchangeably with all of these Fall finds.

8. Leather High Waisted Skirt

I found THE cutest black faux leather high waisted skirt at TJ MAXX a few weeks ago. I have already worn it to church twice. I wore it with some black leather booties and a button down shirt. I am currently looking for some thigh high boots to wear with all of these items in this post. 

9. A Nude and/or Black Bodysuit

I LOVE a good bodysuit! They are slimming, sexy and necessary for every woman. I have 2 and I savor them both. They are affordable and go great with jeans, skirts and shorts. They just always pull a look together no matter what you are wearing on top of them. They also have a great way of shaping up the mid-section!

10. A Pair of Black or Brown Boots

Last but not least is a good pair of boots. I have a pair of black booties that have lasted for forever. I wear them to work, church, dinner and just about everywhere where I am walking a lot. Make sure they fit and are comfortable. Boots never go out of style. I even have had my eye on a sexy pair of thigh high boots as well! I am not telling you to break the bank but do make sure they are sturdy and can carry you from the Fall season into Winter.

Why Investing In Yourself Is The Best Thing You Could Ever Do!

'Believing and Investing in yourself is the best way to shift your thinking from a paradigm of excuses to one of solutions!'

If there is one thing I will bet on, it's myself!

Just being really transparent for a sec, but you can make great strides in your life when you are honest and real about things you need to change in order to go higher. As a result of being honest and real with myself, I have been rewarded with the gift of writing in my life. I absolutely love to write! It is more than a hobby. Storytelling is my calling! It's what I am good at and it's what I am most passionate about. I will write for free and if I never made a single dollar from it, my love for it will never change! THIS is where I want YOU to be in your life! Totally free to create and be YOUR biggest friend, cheerleader, asset and Brand Ambassador!

Just a few tips on how I got to this level in life, I made lots and lots of mistakes. Steve Harvey once said,

'You don't win by winning all of the time, you win by losing! The more you lose, the more you succeed.' 

The more you lose, the better problem solver you become. Massive success lies in solving problems. In order to keep losing, you have to keep practicing. Practice really does make perfect!

Tap into your individuality! NO one is You and that is Your Superpower! Your individual DNA is not shared by anyone on this planet. YOU are an original my love. 

Be willing to get uncomfortable to discover your gift! God has given everyone a gift! It is your job to figure out what that gift is and the clues lie within your journey in life!

Hold yourself Accountable and if you cannot, get around someone who can! Get and stay around individuals who are telling you the truth. I have family who I can trust to tell me when I'm falling off track. It is not always easy to hear the truth but it really will set you free. Connect with individuals who will love you enough to say what you need to hear and not what you want to hear!

'If your dreams don't scare you, they are too small.' 

40 Things I Learned In My 40th Year!

40. I said it once but I'll say it again...TRAVEL!

39. Choose your friends wisely!

38. Choose your partner wisely.

37. Take risks!

36. Life is short! Appreciate it.

35. Find a type of exercise regimen that you enjoy and do it daily. Eat clean and drink your water! Health really is Wealth! I just started doing the Tracey Anderson Method and I love it!

34. Have compassion!

33. Show empathy because you never know when you will need some shown to you.

32. Playing Christmas music all year round is one of my favorite things to do.

31. Trust your gut guys. Your intuition never lies.

30. Let God fight your battles! He WILL make your enemies your footstool!

29. It's ok to still be single with no kids at 40. Take care of yourself in this season and watch how God blesses you girl!

28. Build others up! Never talk down to people.

27. Be Real with yourself and others.

26. Your YESSES and your NO'S will ultimately teach others how to treat you!

25. Let GO and Let GOD! cues the music, 'Let IT Go,' by Elsa!

24. Most people deserve a second chance.

23. Every struggle you endure in life will lead to your Evolution. Embrace it and see what God does for you!!

22. Make space to go to your high school reunion. Making memories with old friends keeps you humble.

21. Don't be afraid of the kitchen. Learn how to COOK! And often. This is for men AND women.

20. Learn how to accept a compliment.

19. TRAVEL!!!

18. A good relationship takes work but is worth fighting for.

17. Learn to let go of what no longer serves you!

16. 40 is much, much younger than I once thought it was.

15. Peanut Butter and chocolate is the perfect duo.

14. Forgive! Forgiveness is for you not the other person. Forgiveness leads to massive success and eternal life!

13. Learn to love yourself. What you do not like, change it! Do the work on yourself to become the best version of yourself. When you do the work, you get blessed!!!

12. BE Humble.

11. I would rather have JOY than happiness because happiness doesn't always last. But joy comes in the morning AND Its only something that God can give. No one can take it away.

10. Talk less, listen more.

09.  Speak to your peers with love. ALWAYS!

08. Storms don't last forever. Just like the rain, sleet and snow; there is an end to them.

07. There is no such thing as being perfect. Embrace your flaws; that's what makes you beautiful.

06. Trust your gut and stay true to yourself.

05. YOU are stronger than you think! Take a leap of Faith towards something that scares you! You would be surprised at the outcome.

04. In order to be happy and healthy in your relationship, you have to first be happy with yourself.

03. Tell the truth! ALWAYS! It will set you free. John 8:31-32

02. Change is the only constant in life. Learn to embrace it!

01. Show and Apply Grace like sunscreen! We are all living daily, trying to get better and grow. Everyone is moving at different paces in this life. Let's continue to show love, grace and mercy like Jesus does for us!

BONUS: I turned 41 today and I wanted to say to you: Work hard in life. When I was told that EVERY level in life requires work, my game totally changed. A good work ethic in life affords you confidence to keep moving forward. Let's GO!

Once You Are Free, You're Free To Share!

10 Life Truths That Will Set YOU Free!

1. Stop being a Perfectionist.

2. Understand that you will make mistakes.

3. ACTION always precedes FREEDOM.

4. You can do much more that you think.

5. Stop being so hard on yourself.

6. Be aware of your prejudices and biases.

7. Stop compromising your values.

8. Know the difference between fear and stress.

9. Control what you can control. Leave the rest up to God.

10. Know how to handle YOUR truth.

The Squeakiest Wheel Gets The Oil! Tips On How To Level Up In Life!

At the beginning of the pandemic in January 2020, the world was introduced to the coronavirus and thought it would just be a series of colds and flus. Its 2022 and it is still here. To date, I have had both a series of 5 booster shots and an actual case of the virus in January of 2021. That diagnosis was both shocking and life saving all in one. After surviving corona in January in 2021, I made some life altering decisions. I decided to take better care of my health i.e. body. I have always been pretty fit but I have slacked on working my body out just for lack of motivation. Now, I go to the dr. on a regular basis. I try to get a workout in everyday for at least 30 minutes.  I go to the dentist, hairdresser, gynecologist and primary care dr. around the clock. I am a good steward of all that God has blessed me with. I was given a second chance to live and so many others did not. I had my 40th birthday on August 2021 and I am happy to say that my life is totally different just holding myself accountable for everything I can control in my life. As my precious mother has always told me, YOU do what you can and let God do the rest. Let me give you a deeper look into what changes I have made to revamp my life. The time has come to LEVEL UP!

The Black Lives Movement was resurrected in May of 2020, only 5 months after COVID 19 was brought to America. Around this time, there was a lot of fear spreading around the world. The Black Lives Movement began because of the death of George Floyd in Minnesota. My father has always had an interesting way of motivating myself and my brothers and sisters. He has always said amongst many other things, 'Knetris, the squeakiest wheel gets the oil!' Now that I am older I know what this means and practice it as much as I can. My father was trying to tell me that you must be relentless in pursuing the things you want out of life. Closed mouths do not get fed. You have to speak up and OUT in order to get what you want in life. I remember trying to land jobs in the past and my father would say, '...the squeakiest wheel get the oil.' He meant to be persistent and relentless in reaching out to contacts I knew in order to get the position. He always gives the best advice! YOU too can be the squeakiest wheel. Practice perseverance and over time, you will begin to attract the things you want in life over and over again.