Where Do I Get My Inspiration?

Lately, it seems like inspiration has been coming at me in every direction. The world has been in such a state of vulnerability since the COVID pandemic started in early 2020. Being a survivor of COVID I have been looking for inspiration ever since my positive diagnosis. Gratefully, God brought me through that very difficult time in my life better and stronger than ever. My relationship with God has gotten more dire since recovering from this illness. Through that experience, I learned what’s really important in life and what I need to be giving my time, love and attention to. So many people have passed away from this disease and the numbers of fatalities are still rising everyday. I take my ability to resurrect my writing ability as inspiration and an answer to many of the prayers I prayed while battling COVID. I get to inspire people by writing about issues concerning the world around us on a weekly basis. Since surviving this illness, I had the inspiration to make my blog public after 7 years of inactivity. I’ve opened it to the public and I’m getting a plethora of positive feedback. I get to polish my writing skills in hopes to one day make writing a professional career!

I come from a legacy of extremely hard workers. My mother was the first African American female coal miner in Southwest Virginia. It was an incredibly difficult and grueling job for a woman. She was so good at her job that she was able to do it for 20 years. Her and my father sacrificed so much for me to have the life I live. They both taught me to have self respect and to use my voice. Other lessons were to keep God first and that nothing comes easy in life. Although I had a very non conventional childhood, my parents made sure I had what I needed to thrive in life. My brothers and sisters were also a source of inspiration for me growing up. From a very young age my two brothers had a dream of playing in the National Football League (NFL.) They are three years apart and one of them happens to be my twin. With discipline, strong work ethic and perseverance, they both made their dreams a reality. Together, their football careers lasted for 19 years. 

So, what about you? How do you find inspiration to pursue your dreams in life? The thing about dreams is that no one is too big. God has placed at the center and core of all of our beings gifts and talents. Everyone has something they are really good at. It is our job to find out what they are. Here are 5 tips on how you can find the motivation to finding your talent and pursuing your dreams!

1. Reach out to a job coach.

2. Find a hobby that you enjoy.

3. Teach someone else how to do something. Tap into your role as a leader.

4. Find out what you enjoy doing that you would do for free everyday. That’s your passion.

5. Ask yourself and really spend some time thinking about what you have overcome in your life! Overcoming life’s obstacles is a big motivator and will inspire you to move forward.

Kobe Bryant And The Evolution Of The Girl Dad!

It’s been almost 2 years since the world was brought to its knees by the loss of NBA superstar Kobe Bryant and his daughter, Gianna ‘Gigi’ Bryant in a tragic helicopter crash near Southern California that killed 9 people in total. They were on their way to a basketball tournament for Gigi and her friends. NBA preseason basketball just so happened to begin today. Although Kobe Bryant retired from playing basketball in 2016, he left more than just a basketball legacy. In my opinion, his biggest accomplishment was being a girl dad. Kobe Bryant was a girl dad and I know because I was raised by one too.

At the time of his death, Kobe was raising four daughters. He was quoted as saying, ‘Girls are the best…I would have five more girls if I could.’ Like Bryant, my Daddy considered himself a girl dad because I’m one of five girls. Kobe was a professional basketball player which meant that several times a month, he would be traveling out of town for games. Like Kobe, my father worked out of state when I was a young girl. He worked at the University of Tennessee as an Admissions Counselor during the week and would come home on the weekends. My father was also daddy to two boys who were really gifted in all of the sports they participated in. One of the boys, Julius, just so happens to be my twin. Even though my mother worked the night shift for most of my childhood, I remember both my parents being very engaged and interested in what I was doing at school.

After Kobe retired in 2016, he spent a lot of time taking Gigi to Lakers games. Kobe was a naturally comforting father. It came easy to him. Like my father, Kobe knew that in order to be there for the joyous times, he’d have to be there for the challenging ones as well. So many similarities between Kobe and my father. I’m almost positive that they were put on earth to raise daughters. My daddy sacrificed so much so I could be me! We have pictures and videos of Kobe and Gigi playing basketball and although there are lots of smiles, Gigi had the same tenacity as her dad. They shared a love of basketball. She had dreams of playing at The University of Connecticut and going on to play in the WNBA and carrying on her father’s legacy.

It’s safe to assume that Kobe envisioned watching Gigi go on to do just that, as well as support his other three daughters pursue their passions too. He and Gigi died together doing something that they loved; playing basketball. Kobe leaves a lasting legacy for girl dad’s and I cannot help but to reflect on my own father who will also. Just like Kobe is a legend and hero, my own father will always be that for me. The love I have for my own father mirrors that of Kobe and Gigi! May they both rest in eternal peace.

Brick by Brick! How I Find Balance In My Busy Life.

In 2009, Katy Perry recorded an acoustic album with a song titled, ‘Brick by Brick!’ I fell in love with it the first time I heard it. Here are a few of the lyrics!

‘..And I sure confess, I’m a mess, I’m a mess of mistakes, but please count to ten, before you throw it all away…’

‘…So brick by brick, I’m breaking through these walls, Oh, between you and me, I’m not giving up, I’m not giving up on us…’

These lyrics seem to be hinting to a relationship gone bad but I like to flip it and for me, it’s a testimony that I was once lost and need God as my GPS. This week I want to discuss how I transitioned from broken to whole with a balanced lifestyle. This post, I reveal some tips on how I have found balance in my busy life. 

In September 2007, I made a move to Charlottesville, VA. After attending college there for 4 years, I felt it necessary to move back there after a tumultuous year of living in Chicago. I met with a pastoral counselor a few days after my move. My counselor’s exact words were, you’ve built this wall around yourself and God wants to help you take it down brick by brick. From that point on, I worked feverishly at getting rid of the wall.

I landed a great job at UVA and made a handful of friends I could go out with. Unlike in Chicago, I had a support system at my new home. I started going to church. I volunteered at the Virginia Discovery Museum and at UVA. I worked with the international population to help them speak better English. I built a resume filled with lots of public service. My schedule was packed with things I loved to do. I exercised everyday and stayed in shape by running. I was in a good space. That wall I had built was starting to come down brick by brick. 

10 Key Takeaways for finding balance in life!

1. Exercise AND Recover/Rest.

2. Learn something new everyday.

3. Read and Write.

4. Get a balanced diet.

5. Reach out to your ‘Strong’ friends and family.

6. Volunteer.

7. Meditate.

8. My mother says, ‘give God some of your time!’ Try to find a bible based church to attend.

9. Step out of your comfort zone daily.

10. DE-clutter all of your spaces.

Little by little, Brick by Brick..you will be practicing gratitude while living your best life. Balance is possible, you just have to be intentional about creating it!

SHAME-less Plug! My Mental Health Journey And How Therapy Saves Lives!

‘Honesty without Empathy is Brutality..’

Prominent TV Host and Radio VJ, Charlamagne Tha God, began his new show, ‘Tha God’s Honest Truth,’ with this old mantra! He has been pretty brutal with getting his guests to open up on his classic radio hit, ‘The Breakfast Club.’ But over the past 5-6 years, he has been going to therapy trying to heal some childhood issues. I watched a documentary on his life several years ago and he revealed that he had been sexually molested when he was a small child. I have supported him ever since. I have a tremendous amount of empathy for people in pain. I feel like this is one of my gifts. I have had to pray without ceasing to get to this point in my life. We often tend to think that feeling pain is a sign of weakness. But I beg to differ. Feeling pain leads to healing and healing leads to strength. Strength leads to the ability to share our journies with the world, which leads to CHANGE! Change is POWERFUL!

I moved to Mexico City, MX for a job opportunity after graduating from college. After my teaching stint ended, I moved to East Tennessee. When I arrived in Tennessee, I quickly landed a job doing what I had been trained to do, teach. I started getting word that my dear friend’s health was declining due to Diabetes. He had been battling this disease for years. He ended up passing on Memorial Day 2004. I was absolutely devastated. He and I were extremely close. This was my first experience dealing with death. I was only 22 years old. I had no idea what to do. I ended up moving to Miami, Florida, got an apartment and tried to begin a new life. This cycle began of moving around, staying for a year or so and trying to figure out why things weren’t working out. In hindsight, what I should have done was stayed in Tennessee and worked through my grief. My faith in God was there. It had never left! My mental health was really suffering and I needed to deal with it.

Fast forward about 6 years later, I was 32 and ready to deal with my health concerns. At the recommendation of my doctor, I started seeing a therapist. To be honest, therapy helps us to change the narrative we tell ourselves about our lives. Before I talk about my journey to healing, I just want to say loud and clear that there is absolutely NO shame in going to therapy. It’s actually quite the opposite. I will plug therapy for anyone who needs to heal from trauma. I believe in it. It takes a lot of bravery to confront yourself and your issues. 

Key Takeaways From Therapy And Dealing With Grief:

1. Focus on your relationship with your loved one that passed and how you made their life better while they were here!

2. Focus on your relationship with God and the lessons he wants to teach you through grief!

3. Focus on what you are moving from instead of what you’re moving to!

4. Moving forward, focus on what you are good at and how you can change lives in those spaces!

5. Yes Knetris! YOU can do hard things and you are a straight up Overcomer!!!!!

My therapist and I worked feverishly at tackling each one of these key points. Yes, I would be in tears during most of my sessions but we had laughter too. Lots of breakthroughs in there. Tears led to laughter, laughter led to healing, healing led to strength. One day I just woke up in a different space. No grief anymore. I had worked through it all. It took about two years of therapy to fully heal. Instead of holding onto grief, I started leaning on God. I went after God so hard and still do. I pray without ceasing! I reach out to loved ones and friends who are hurting. Life is hard. No, my life isn’t perfect. BUT I’m tough as nails. I am RELENTLESS! I’ve decided to use my Journey as proof that therapy works if you work IT! That is why God put it here. Since I love writing, I’ve decided to write a memoir about my life in hopes to encourage others that grief is not the end all be all. Mental Health is super important. My memoir, ‘Love Me Back To Life,’ is a love letter to God saying thank you for loving me back to life because God is the ultimate healer! Head over heels in love with my Savior! FREEDOM is a good feeling❤️❤️❤️ Because who the son sets free is free indeed! ‘John 8:36’ It’s a testimony, a new perspective, a goodbye and a thank you post!

2021 New York Fashion Week Recap💃

My obsession with fashion began in one of the most non conventional places on earth; Church! I remember my grandparents being dressed to the nines every Sunday. My grandma wore the big hats and looked so beautiful color coordinated. The bright red colors looked so beautiful against her brown skin. That obsession with fashion quickly trickled down to my parents. They would dress up my brothers, sisters and I for major holidays like Easter and Christmas. That tradition then followed us to school. We would have to dress up once a week. The frilly bows, curls and shiny shoes were just the sweetest thing.

Fast forward about 5 or 6 years later. I was 16 years old. The love of fashion was passed down to my two older sisters. I watched them be obsessed with then MTV’s, ‘House of Style!’ Amber Valletta was the host in the 90’s! Most of the models that were represented on MTV didn’t look anything like me but I continued to watch in hopes that one day, there would be more of a brown skinned modeling industry. My prayers were answered. As soon as I began moving around after college, I saw the groundwork being laid for a more diverse fashion week nationwide.

Fast forward to September 2021, New York Fashion Week. Fashion designers Helmut Lang and Brandon Maxwell were using multiple darker skinned models in their shows which I hadn’t seen before. Blackness is breaking new ground with more black models in fashion. Helmut Lang is an 81 year old Australian designer who has been representing the fashion industry since his 20’s. Then we have Brandon Maxwell, a 36 year old American designer who uses the darkest male and female models throughout fashion week. The bold, bright colors used in both these shows made the African representation even more present.

Moving on to two designers who cater more towards affluent, white women; Louis Vuitton and Dior. If you paid attention to fashion over the past several decades, you would recognize the lack of diversity in any and just about ALL of Louis Vuitton’s fashion weeks. I remember when I bought my first Louis Vuitton handbag in Miami, Florida, there were NO people of color in the store. Not a soul. This year, Vuitton used lots of shorter and curvier black women in their shows. Judging from the pictures I saw from social media, Dior followed their lead. I cannot say that I didn’t love it. Their were lots of bikini tops with bold suits and skirts with structured blazers. I really enjoyed seeing all of the diversity this year. Dior was also a lot more playful this year with an Alice In Wonderland themed fashion house.

Every year that I am able to follow #NYFW, I dream of the day when I’ll be able to attend the real deal. Prominent NY fashion influencer, Sai De Silva, has been attending fashion week for years. She has amassed a following of close to 400,000 followers on Instagram. She talks about renting clothes from Rent The Runway for a much cheaper price and how at times, designers loan her clothes for the week in exchange for endless plugs on social media. I remember attending this beautiful, plush and extremely expensive Indian wedding in 2016 at the Boston Park Plaza. A friend rented this beautiful Carolina Herrera gown for the wedding. It was breathtaking. Rent The Runway has become the premier fashion house for influencers at fashion week. When I’m able to attend in person, as opposed to watching from home, I’ll be in a position to choose between using Rent The Runway or buying my own designer clothes. I’m striving for the latter🤩 Let’s GO!

Are You A Treasure Hunter Or A Field Inspector?

I was blessed to attend Faith Christian Center International located in Charlottesville, VA from 2008-2013!!! For five years, I faithfully attended church and bible study in hopes to get set free from baggage that seemed to follow me everywhere prior to coming into this particular house of worship! Pastor Wayne Frye taught a life changing bible study on a night where I was at my wits end and struggling to overcome shame and fear! He posed a question to the congregation ‘Are you a Treasure Hunter or a Field Inspector?’ I was very caught off guard because I had never heard of this language before. After doing some research for this blog post, I was pleasantly surprised at what these two jobs meant and how they related to me spiritually!

Treasure Hunting is the physical search for treasure. Treasure hunters try to find sunken ships and retrieve artifacts for market value. In order to find any treasure, they most always need a GPS! Field Inspectors gather information and perform property value appraisals of residential and commercial properties. Field Inspectors perform most of their work on the surface level of houses! They may even use a tape measure or take pictures of properties they are assigned to. There are no qualifications to becoming a Field Inspector! On the other hand, becoming a Treasure Hunter takes much practice, skill and experience.

To break this down even further, biblically, Treasure Hunters are constantly seeking God. They have been trained by the Holy Spirit to seek God in every area of life! These believers have developed a deep relationship with Christ and continuously seek his face. That depth comes from putting faith above feelings trial after trial. After every trial, is a reward! As long as Treasure Hunters continue to go deep, they find treasure. The GPS is God! Field Inspectors stay on the surface with God where there isn’t much depth. They do just enough to get by and do not really have the desire to go deeper with God. When I say ‘deeper’ I mean reading God’s word on a regular basis, attending a bible based church, and carrying a sincere heart while letting God lead you through challenges in life! We are all a work in progress! What helps me to stay connected to Christ is definitely praying for God’s will to be done in my life. Because ultimately, what God wants for me is what I need. It’s easy to go ahead of him and we all have a tendency to stay stuck in the past! That’s another blog post in itself. I try to study God’s word daily because it’s sharper than a two edged sword! At this point in my life, I am striving to become a Treasure Hunter!

Here are three key points to strengthen your ‘Treasure Hunting’ skills! 

1. Keep a journal. 

Make a habit of daily journaling to let God know how you feel about how your life is going. P.S. He already knows😊 Some things to keep in mind when journaling are to write down triggers in your day that cause your mood to shift from happy to sad. You can also write down to do lists so you aren’t so overwhelmed as the day goes along!

2. Alone Time.

I have found that for me, the main thing that’s kept my mental health in tact is having a significant amount of alone time. It’s true that we need time to be around our peers but alone time is just as dire! I spend alone time when I meditate. Meditation helps to clear the clutter from our minds and gives us a fresh perspective.

3. Practice Gratitude.

Like the saying goes, ‘An attitude of gratitude is the BEST form of Thanksgiving!’ I believe in this whole heartedly! I try to practice gratitude by reaching out to loved ones and friends on a regular basis. I thank God for the family and friends he has placed in my life! I send a quick text to my family and practice uplifting them! I’ll go outside and listen to Spotify on a nice day. In addition to that, I try to exercise at least 30 minutes a day! I thank God for the sun and the ability to get fresh air! When I do that, I feel God is pleased! This allows him to see that you are a good steward over what he has given you! AND this is what a true Treasure Hunter would do😊

Hope this helps!

Broken Relationships!!

RECONCILIATION. /n./the restoration of friendly relations.

RECONCILIATION. In biblical terms: Bringing in Unity, Harmony, or Agreement that has been alienated.

Listen, Let me just clear the air! To everyone who is reading or will read this blog post, everyone of us will be offended at some point in our lives! YES, offenses will come! You can bank on that. BUT in one of my favorite scriptures, Luke 17:1-4, Jesus says ‘…it is impossible that no offenses should come…’ and to expect them! If and when we decide to reconcile with the ones who have offended us solely determines our eternal destiny!

Broken relationships will hinder us from fulfilling our calling! You may have monetary success but you will never get what God truly wants to give you in this lifetime! We must find it in our hearts to forgive those who have offended us. We must seek reconciliation. Countless relationships fail due to a simple misunderstanding, an accident or unintentional failure, words or actions that occur in the heat of the moment, or because of a calculated plan of retaliation or deceit. Many adults reflect on a troubled childhood, wishing they could reverse the action of their youth and reverse their past. 

Most of us never take the time to make the first move, speak up and come to God’s throne with a humble heart! First and foremost, one has to have a humble and contrite heart. God knows each one of our hearts, intentions and whether we are sincere or not. We must also forgive! The bible says to forgive ‘7x77 times daily! Most of us stay silent about being offended and take our resentment to the grave. BUT, the fact that Christ made his greatest sacrifice on our behalf , while we were yet sinners, should move us to seek reconciliation with those with whom we have experienced betrayal, conflict, or misunderstanding.

When I have felt offended or offended someone in the past, in order to truly forgive that person/persons, I first spend some time in prayer and meditation. I cannot tell you where the other party’s heart is, but God knows my heart. All that God requires me to do is come to him with a humble, meek and sincere heart. Forgiveness is the same way! If I have intentionally hurt someone, it is my job to go to that person and ask for forgiveness! I get into some scripture about forgiveness and then go to God and ask for forgiveness from him. With a contrite and humble heart, God can forgive me, as well as anyone else! Forgiveness truly sets us free!