How To Read More!

Reading feeds my creative well. I remember falling in love with reading and writing as a young girl. My brothers, sisters and I would play school when we were kids and I was always the teacher. As I got older, going to buy school supplies at the beginning of the school year was my FAVORITE time. I loved it. English ended up being my favorite subject in grade school. It came so natural to me. So much so that I went on to study it in college. It seems as if I have been destined to be a professional writer since childhood. It’s not a wonder that I ended up teaching English both abroad and in the states for a total of 10+ years. I was having a conversation with a dear friend recently and she said, ‘…with this new digital age of social media, people want to be entertained and not educated!’ She is absolutely correct. It seems as though people are just not interested in reading anymore. Unless it’s just something that is deeply imbedded in your spirit, it seems like reading and writing are so yesterday. With this post, I want to encourage those of us who still enjoy reading and motivate those of you who don’t find reading fun as well. Here are some tips on how to read more!

1. Get a library card.

2. Read in the morning.

3. Read at night.

4. Read electronically. Whether it’s on an iPhone, iPad, E-Reader or on a tablet.

5. Choose from and download an app specifically for reading. There are the Nook app, Kindle app, Goodreads app and Audible app. Goodreads has a book challenge every year. This pushes you to read and keeps you accountable with your promise to read a set number of books.

Audible is a good app to listen to audiobooks. I downloaded this app a few years ago when I lived in Charlottesville, VA. This app is strictly for audiobooks. I would listen to ‘The Four Agreements’ and ‘Rich Dad Poor Dad’ while running around Charlottesville. 

Since becoming a member of Goodreads, I have read close to 20 books. That is nowhere near my goal. Right before the pandemic began, I started a book blog on social media. Here is the list of books I featured and read! I hope going into 2022 you are able to create a good reading regimen. In my opinion, education is the key to success and reading is at the forefront on that journey!

1. The Purpose Driven Life.

2. Beat The Clock.

3. Blessings From The Dust.

4. Less.

5. The Bluest Eye.

6. Tipping Point. 

7. The Dorito Effect.

8. When God Says Wait.

9. Trick Mirror.

10. Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married.

Gateway To Greatness!

Since being invited to become a member of The National Society of Leadership and Success, I have access to so many resources and empowering people. This week’s ‘Motivational Monday’ blog captures those individuals who were a part of the Fall 2021 Speaker Broadcast Series with the NSLS. All of these very influential individuals have come from different walks of life but have found themselves in a very powerful position. It is not by chance. Despite the hardships they have faced throughout their lives, they have managed to persevere and I find them very inspirational.

Here are a bio and three Key Takeaways from each speaker that I wanted to share with you! These are the dates and lessons I took from each speaker to use as fuel to create my own success in life or whatever that looks like to you! In my opinion, these gems are needed to enter into the Gateway to Greatness.

Gabrielle Union-October 12, 2021:

Born in Nebraska in 1972, Gabrielle Union studied at UCLA after working as a model for different agencies in her teens. While watching Union speak during her speaker broadcast series, she talked a lot about lessons she learned as an actress before her fame hit full throttle.

1. I want to be known as a truth teller.

2. I want to be known as a freedom fighter.

3. I want to be part of the resistance.

Anita Hill-October 19, 2021:

Anita Faye Hill is an American lawyer, scholar, educator and author. She is a university professor of law, social policy and women’s studies at Brandeis University. She gained fame by accusing Clarence Thomas, her supervisor and US Supreme Court nominee of sexual harassment.

1. We need new thinking.

2. We need new thinking in gender equality.

3. The baton to social justice must be passed from generation to generation.

His Holiness The Dalai Lama-October 20, 2021: 

Born July 6, 1935, His Holiness The Dalai Lama is a member of Tibetan Buddhism. He is 86 years old. These are the three takeaways from His Holiness’ speaker broadcast session.

1. My religion is kindness.

2. Compassion is important.

3. If you want to change the world, change your heart.

Bill Clinton-November 3, 2021: 

Born in 1946, Bill Clinton is an American politician and attorney who served as the 42nd president of The United States of America from 1993 to 2001.

1. Be kind.

2. You have to trust people.

3. It’s not the outcome, it’s the journey.

Rachel Ray-November 9, 2021: 

Rachel Ray is an American celebrity cook, tv personality, businesswoman an author. Host of Rachel Ray and the Food Networks, 30 Minute Meals, Ray also has a line of dog food that is very successful.

1. Have gratitude.

2. Having gratitude gets her out of bed in the morning.

3. Find beauty and grace in the low points in life.

Jamie Foxx-November 10, 2021: 

Born in Terrell, TX, Jamie Foxx  began his career as a comedian on, ‘In Living Color!’ After breakout success, he starred in ‘The Jamie Foxx Show.’ His success in comedy led him to a career in acting where he is now an Academy Award winning actor.

1. Don’t limit yourself.

2. You can come back from anything.

3. Use all of your gifts.

Where Do I Get My Inspiration?

Lately, it seems like inspiration has been coming at me in every direction. The world has been in such a state of vulnerability since the COVID pandemic started in early 2020. Being a survivor of COVID I have been looking for inspiration ever since my positive diagnosis. Gratefully, God brought me through that very difficult time in my life better and stronger than ever. My relationship with God has gotten more dire since recovering from this illness. Through that experience, I learned what’s really important in life and what I need to be giving my time, love and attention to. So many people have passed away from this disease and the numbers of fatalities are still rising everyday. I take my ability to resurrect my writing ability as inspiration and an answer to many of the prayers I prayed while battling COVID. I get to inspire people by writing about issues concerning the world around us on a weekly basis. Since surviving this illness, I had the inspiration to make my blog public after 7 years of inactivity. I’ve opened it to the public and I’m getting a plethora of positive feedback. I get to polish my writing skills in hopes to one day make writing a professional career!

I come from a legacy of extremely hard workers. My mother was the first African American female coal miner in Southwest Virginia. It was an incredibly difficult and grueling job for a woman. She was so good at her job that she was able to do it for 20 years. Her and my father sacrificed so much for me to have the life I live. They both taught me to have self respect and to use my voice. Other lessons were to keep God first and that nothing comes easy in life. Although I had a very non conventional childhood, my parents made sure I had what I needed to thrive in life. My brothers and sisters were also a source of inspiration for me growing up. From a very young age my two brothers had a dream of playing in the National Football League (NFL.) They are three years apart and one of them happens to be my twin. With discipline, strong work ethic and perseverance, they both made their dreams a reality. Together, their football careers lasted for 19 years. 

So, what about you? How do you find inspiration to pursue your dreams in life? The thing about dreams is that no one is too big. God has placed at the center and core of all of our beings gifts and talents. Everyone has something they are really good at. It is our job to find out what they are. Here are 5 tips on how you can find the motivation to finding your talent and pursuing your dreams!

1. Reach out to a job coach.

2. Find a hobby that you enjoy.

3. Teach someone else how to do something. Tap into your role as a leader.

4. Find out what you enjoy doing that you would do for free everyday. That’s your passion.

5. Ask yourself and really spend some time thinking about what you have overcome in your life! Overcoming life’s obstacles is a big motivator and will inspire you to move forward.

Kobe Bryant And The Evolution Of The Girl Dad!

It’s been almost 2 years since the world was brought to its knees by the loss of NBA superstar Kobe Bryant and his daughter, Gianna ‘Gigi’ Bryant in a tragic helicopter crash near Southern California that killed 9 people in total. They were on their way to a basketball tournament for Gigi and her friends. NBA preseason basketball just so happened to begin today. Although Kobe Bryant retired from playing basketball in 2016, he left more than just a basketball legacy. In my opinion, his biggest accomplishment was being a girl dad. Kobe Bryant was a girl dad and I know because I was raised by one too.

At the time of his death, Kobe was raising four daughters. He was quoted as saying, ‘Girls are the best…I would have five more girls if I could.’ Like Bryant, my Daddy considered himself a girl dad because I’m one of five girls. Kobe was a professional basketball player which meant that several times a month, he would be traveling out of town for games. Like Kobe, my father worked out of state when I was a young girl. He worked at the University of Tennessee as an Admissions Counselor during the week and would come home on the weekends. My father was also daddy to two boys who were really gifted in all of the sports they participated in. One of the boys, Julius, just so happens to be my twin. Even though my mother worked the night shift for most of my childhood, I remember both my parents being very engaged and interested in what I was doing at school.

After Kobe retired in 2016, he spent a lot of time taking Gigi to Lakers games. Kobe was a naturally comforting father. It came easy to him. Like my father, Kobe knew that in order to be there for the joyous times, he’d have to be there for the challenging ones as well. So many similarities between Kobe and my father. I’m almost positive that they were put on earth to raise daughters. My daddy sacrificed so much so I could be me! We have pictures and videos of Kobe and Gigi playing basketball and although there are lots of smiles, Gigi had the same tenacity as her dad. They shared a love of basketball. She had dreams of playing at The University of Connecticut and going on to play in the WNBA and carrying on her father’s legacy.

It’s safe to assume that Kobe envisioned watching Gigi go on to do just that, as well as support his other three daughters pursue their passions too. He and Gigi died together doing something that they loved; playing basketball. Kobe leaves a lasting legacy for girl dad’s and I cannot help but to reflect on my own father who will also. Just like Kobe is a legend and hero, my own father will always be that for me. The love I have for my own father mirrors that of Kobe and Gigi! May they both rest in eternal peace.

Brick by Brick! How I Find Balance In My Busy Life.

In 2009, Katy Perry recorded an acoustic album with a song titled, ‘Brick by Brick!’ I fell in love with it the first time I heard it. Here are a few of the lyrics!

‘..And I sure confess, I’m a mess, I’m a mess of mistakes, but please count to ten, before you throw it all away…’

‘…So brick by brick, I’m breaking through these walls, Oh, between you and me, I’m not giving up, I’m not giving up on us…’

These lyrics seem to be hinting to a relationship gone bad but I like to flip it and for me, it’s a testimony that I was once lost and need God as my GPS. This week I want to discuss how I transitioned from broken to whole with a balanced lifestyle. This post, I reveal some tips on how I have found balance in my busy life. 

In September 2007, I made a move to Charlottesville, VA. After attending college there for 4 years, I felt it necessary to move back there after a tumultuous year of living in Chicago. I met with a pastoral counselor a few days after my move. My counselor’s exact words were, you’ve built this wall around yourself and God wants to help you take it down brick by brick. From that point on, I worked feverishly at getting rid of the wall.

I landed a great job at UVA and made a handful of friends I could go out with. Unlike in Chicago, I had a support system at my new home. I started going to church. I volunteered at the Virginia Discovery Museum and at UVA. I worked with the international population to help them speak better English. I built a resume filled with lots of public service. My schedule was packed with things I loved to do. I exercised everyday and stayed in shape by running. I was in a good space. That wall I had built was starting to come down brick by brick. 

10 Key Takeaways for finding balance in life!

1. Exercise AND Recover/Rest.

2. Learn something new everyday.

3. Read and Write.

4. Get a balanced diet.

5. Reach out to your ‘Strong’ friends and family.

6. Volunteer.

7. Meditate.

8. My mother says, ‘give God some of your time!’ Try to find a bible based church to attend.

9. Step out of your comfort zone daily.

10. DE-clutter all of your spaces.

Little by little, Brick by Brick..you will be practicing gratitude while living your best life. Balance is possible, you just have to be intentional about creating it!

SHAME-less Plug! My Mental Health Journey And How Therapy Saves Lives!

‘Honesty without Empathy is Brutality..’

Prominent TV Host and Radio VJ, Charlamagne Tha God, began his new show, ‘Tha God’s Honest Truth,’ with this old mantra! He has been pretty brutal with getting his guests to open up on his classic radio hit, ‘The Breakfast Club.’ But over the past 5-6 years, he has been going to therapy trying to heal some childhood issues. I watched a documentary on his life several years ago and he revealed that he had been sexually molested when he was a small child. I have supported him ever since. I have a tremendous amount of empathy for people in pain. I feel like this is one of my gifts. I have had to pray without ceasing to get to this point in my life. We often tend to think that feeling pain is a sign of weakness. But I beg to differ. Feeling pain leads to healing and healing leads to strength. Strength leads to the ability to share our journies with the world, which leads to CHANGE! Change is POWERFUL!

I moved to Mexico City, MX for a job opportunity after graduating from college. After my teaching stint ended, I moved to East Tennessee. When I arrived in Tennessee, I quickly landed a job doing what I had been trained to do, teach. I started getting word that my dear friend’s health was declining due to Diabetes. He had been battling this disease for years. He ended up passing on Memorial Day 2004. I was absolutely devastated. He and I were extremely close. This was my first experience dealing with death. I was only 22 years old. I had no idea what to do. I ended up moving to Miami, Florida, got an apartment and tried to begin a new life. This cycle began of moving around, staying for a year or so and trying to figure out why things weren’t working out. In hindsight, what I should have done was stayed in Tennessee and worked through my grief. My faith in God was there. It had never left! My mental health was really suffering and I needed to deal with it.

Fast forward about 6 years later, I was 32 and ready to deal with my health concerns. At the recommendation of my doctor, I started seeing a therapist. To be honest, therapy helps us to change the narrative we tell ourselves about our lives. Before I talk about my journey to healing, I just want to say loud and clear that there is absolutely NO shame in going to therapy. It’s actually quite the opposite. I will plug therapy for anyone who needs to heal from trauma. I believe in it. It takes a lot of bravery to confront yourself and your issues. 

Key Takeaways From Therapy And Dealing With Grief:

1. Focus on your relationship with your loved one that passed and how you made their life better while they were here!

2. Focus on your relationship with God and the lessons he wants to teach you through grief!

3. Focus on what you are moving from instead of what you’re moving to!

4. Moving forward, focus on what you are good at and how you can change lives in those spaces!

5. Yes Knetris! YOU can do hard things and you are a straight up Overcomer!!!!!

My therapist and I worked feverishly at tackling each one of these key points. Yes, I would be in tears during most of my sessions but we had laughter too. Lots of breakthroughs in there. Tears led to laughter, laughter led to healing, healing led to strength. One day I just woke up in a different space. No grief anymore. I had worked through it all. It took about two years of therapy to fully heal. Instead of holding onto grief, I started leaning on God. I went after God so hard and still do. I pray without ceasing! I reach out to loved ones and friends who are hurting. Life is hard. No, my life isn’t perfect. BUT I’m tough as nails. I am RELENTLESS! I’ve decided to use my Journey as proof that therapy works if you work IT! That is why God put it here. Since I love writing, I’ve decided to write a memoir about my life in hopes to encourage others that grief is not the end all be all. Mental Health is super important. My memoir, ‘Love Me Back To Life,’ is a love letter to God saying thank you for loving me back to life because God is the ultimate healer! Head over heels in love with my Savior! FREEDOM is a good feeling❤️❤️❤️ Because who the son sets free is free indeed! ‘John 8:36’ It’s a testimony, a new perspective, a goodbye and a thank you post!

2021 New York Fashion Week Recap💃

My obsession with fashion began in one of the most non conventional places on earth; Church! I remember my grandparents being dressed to the nines every Sunday. My grandma wore the big hats and looked so beautiful color coordinated. The bright red colors looked so beautiful against her brown skin. That obsession with fashion quickly trickled down to my parents. They would dress up my brothers, sisters and I for major holidays like Easter and Christmas. That tradition then followed us to school. We would have to dress up once a week. The frilly bows, curls and shiny shoes were just the sweetest thing.

Fast forward about 5 or 6 years later. I was 16 years old. The love of fashion was passed down to my two older sisters. I watched them be obsessed with then MTV’s, ‘House of Style!’ Amber Valletta was the host in the 90’s! Most of the models that were represented on MTV didn’t look anything like me but I continued to watch in hopes that one day, there would be more of a brown skinned modeling industry. My prayers were answered. As soon as I began moving around after college, I saw the groundwork being laid for a more diverse fashion week nationwide.

Fast forward to September 2021, New York Fashion Week. Fashion designers Helmut Lang and Brandon Maxwell were using multiple darker skinned models in their shows which I hadn’t seen before. Blackness is breaking new ground with more black models in fashion. Helmut Lang is an 81 year old Australian designer who has been representing the fashion industry since his 20’s. Then we have Brandon Maxwell, a 36 year old American designer who uses the darkest male and female models throughout fashion week. The bold, bright colors used in both these shows made the African representation even more present.

Moving on to two designers who cater more towards affluent, white women; Louis Vuitton and Dior. If you paid attention to fashion over the past several decades, you would recognize the lack of diversity in any and just about ALL of Louis Vuitton’s fashion weeks. I remember when I bought my first Louis Vuitton handbag in Miami, Florida, there were NO people of color in the store. Not a soul. This year, Vuitton used lots of shorter and curvier black women in their shows. Judging from the pictures I saw from social media, Dior followed their lead. I cannot say that I didn’t love it. Their were lots of bikini tops with bold suits and skirts with structured blazers. I really enjoyed seeing all of the diversity this year. Dior was also a lot more playful this year with an Alice In Wonderland themed fashion house.

Every year that I am able to follow #NYFW, I dream of the day when I’ll be able to attend the real deal. Prominent NY fashion influencer, Sai De Silva, has been attending fashion week for years. She has amassed a following of close to 400,000 followers on Instagram. She talks about renting clothes from Rent The Runway for a much cheaper price and how at times, designers loan her clothes for the week in exchange for endless plugs on social media. I remember attending this beautiful, plush and extremely expensive Indian wedding in 2016 at the Boston Park Plaza. A friend rented this beautiful Carolina Herrera gown for the wedding. It was breathtaking. Rent The Runway has become the premier fashion house for influencers at fashion week. When I’m able to attend in person, as opposed to watching from home, I’ll be in a position to choose between using Rent The Runway or buying my own designer clothes. I’m striving for the latter🤩 Let’s GO!